Mocking A Man's Mouth Size In Public
The Tuesday Post + Overheard in the bathroom stall
I’ve been spending so much time at my local theater that the security guard recognizes me. The other day he told me to enjoy the movie, but I replied, “You too!” like a complete buffoon who has never spoken to another human being before. Needing a distraction to prevent me from hyper-fixating on the aforementioned faux pas, I spent Sunday sitting on the beach in a two-piece thong bikini, listening to Tracy Chapman, and stuffing my face with a Rippers Burger. Not much in this world is better than a perfect cheeseburger and salt ocean air.
In other news, me and Adam caved and got tickets to The Jellicle Ball, a radical reimagining of the musical Cats1 inspired by ballroom culture. “Excited” isn’t a strong enough word for how much I’m looking forward to this. I’m not into musicals, but I am into dance, pageantry, and supporting my fellow queers. This is the third time the show has been extended, and almost all the performances have sold out. I promise to report back afterward.
This week, we’re gonna talk about a mystery thriller I actually enjoyed, break down some info about the Paralympics, and I’ll share the conversation I overheard recently that had me in stitches.
What have you been watching lately? Let me know in the comments!
Stream-Worthy
Bodkin (Netflix): This cheeky, dark mystery thriller is perfect for a weekend binge. Three podcasters (Will Forte, Siobhán Cullen, and Robyn Cara) set out to investigate the mysterious disappearance of three strangers in an idyllic Irish town. Expect sly humor, engaging characters, and a rich narrative.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (Max): Cute, gross, and funny, the latest film in the Ghostbusters universe is full of callbacks to the original films while giving plenty of room for new characters to evolve. Paul Rudd and Kumail Nanjiani play well with comedy veterans Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, and Ernie Hudson. McKenna Grace is the star of the movie, reprising her role as Phoebe, the ghost-busting grandchild of Egon Spengler (RIP Harold Ramis).
In Theaters
Maxxxine: Bizarre storyline aside, Mia Goth gives another outstanding performance in Maxxxine as she perfectly embodies the “femme fatal horror chick” role, giving the audience a violent end to Ti West’s trilogy. While Maxxine kept me more entertained than the trilogy prequel Pearl, I still think X is the best out of the three simply because it does such a good job of paying homage to slasher films of the 1980s. (Maxxxine is now available to rent on various streaming platforms.)
Twisters:
How I would describe this movie: It's an edge-of-your-seat weather thriller, a romcom, and a great summer blockbuster that expands on the best parts of the original movie.
How two old ladies in the movie theater bathroom described this movie:“That was ok, but Glen Powell isn’t as hot as Bill Paxton.”
“I know his mouth is so small!”
“It is! It’s too small for his face!”2
Deadpool & Wolverine: I am so happy that I went to see this on opening day because there are so many cameos, and knowing me, I would have been irate had I known about them beforehand. The movie is great; my only complaint is that it doesn’t have the same abundance of sexual innuendo as the previous two (cue bombastic side-eye at Disney). Don’t worry; there’s still a lot of violence and gore. The movie has been breaking records left and right, and I’ll probably go see it a second time because I really want a Wolverine popcorn bucket.
Of Note
The cast of The Umbrella Academy (Netflix) did their best to carry the fourth and final season, but it’s too weighed down by bad writing, crater-sized plot holes, forced romance, and character inconsistencies/assassinations. The fans—and the talented cast—deserved better. It’s got the lowest score out of all the seasons, with a 17% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
If you like Wordle, but don’t want to support The New York Times, may I suggest Quordle, my new favorite game from Mirriam-Webster. It’s exactly like Wordle, but you’re solving four puzzles at once. It’s a neurodivergent word nerd’s dream. Inevitably, I’ve been coming across words that I’ve never heard of and will never use in my everyday life. For example, covey (kuh·vee) is a small flock of birds, often used to describe a brood of partridges or similar birds, like quail. Sadly, I don’t come across much quail or partridge in Brooklyn, but if I do, I’ll certainly be pulling this one out of my back pocket.
Don’t cancel your Peacock subscription just yet, the Paralympics games start Wednesday August 28th and run through Sunday, September 8th.
Personally, I can’t wait for Wheelchair Basketball and Track and Field, but there are a lot of games being played this year that are worth watching.
The Paralympics are not the same as the Special Olympics. The Special Olympics is for athletes with intellectual disabilities. The Paralympics focus on six main disability categories, which include: "amputee, cerebral palsy, intellectual disability, visually impaired, spinal injuries and Les Autres (French for "the others," a category that includes conditions that do not fall into the categories mentioned before)."
A Public Service Reminder: Just because you, as a viewer, can’t see someone’s disability doesn’t mean they don’t have one. Athletes aren’t required to share their medical history, so don’t ask.
The only good part of Cats is Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Memory, one of the most beautiful songs ever written. I still tear up when I hear it.
I have not been able to stop thinking about their conversation. They went on for an awkward length of time, mocking Powell and praising Paxton. I sat in the stall, hand over mouth, to stop myself from laughing. May I be so bold in my “distinguished years” to openly mock a man's mouth size in public.